Honey, I'm home

I got back this past weekend from a mission trip to southern Louisiana. I helped a victim of Hurricane Rita prepare for a new home. A new mobile home to replace her house of who-knows-how-many years. Because even with flood insurance, the property values in that part of Louisiana are so low that a new home can't be built without additional funds. Sometimes life sucks.

Upon returning to the office yesterday, I got lots of inquiries along the lines of "How was your vacation?" When I explained that it really was a mission trip, and gave brief details on what I did, I got lots of kudos from people about how nice it was I did that or what a good person I was for doing it. Then I felt bad. I didn't do it to get kudos from people. I didn't do it to prove to anyone I was a good person. And I definitely don't deserve the credit. Anything good in me comes from God acting in me through the Holy Spirit. Anything bad I do is my true nature peeking through.

This morning I picked back up a book a friend loaned me that I'd been reading lately. It has a kind of cheesy title (follow the link above to see) and I probably never would have given it a second chance if a good friend of mine hadn't loaned it to me. I put it down a couple of weeks before my trip, and just got back to it this morning. After finishing the last couple of pages of the chapter I left off with I came to the next chapter titled Appropriate Smallness: The Practice of Servanthood. It starts with a discussion of humility and what it really is, then discusses why people do service work and what the real reasons should be for serving others. It says the following, which is at least somewhat how I feel though I hadn't put it to words. And I don't know if I could say it this well.

We must minister out of weakness. The reason we help others is not because we are strong and they need us; it is because if we don't help them we will end up a hopeless relic.

This is exactly how I've felt about the mission work I do. At some level, I guess it's nice that people think I'm such a good person for doing it. I guess part of me wants them to see that I don't just talk the talk, but I walk the walk. I guess that's some pride peeking out. But mostly I help people (via service projects or other methods) because if I don't then I will become a hopeless relic. And hopefully in some small way they see the love of God through what I do.

In some small way, even writing about it seems to be detracting from the real purpose of the work. But this is my journal, and if I'm learning to write then I must actually write, and I must write about what moves me or what I'm feeling. I have to be authentic.

Overheard in the office

Any of you that work in offices, especially those with cubicles, understand how easy it is to overhear conversations. Conversations others have on the phone, and conversations between coworkers. You don't really mean to listen, it's just the way cubicles are. I think sometimes people forget there isn't a ceiling, or that the walls aren't real. Sometimes you hear funny lines. Sometimes you have to sit there and stifle a laugh. You really wish you could share it with someone.

Today a friend sent me a link to a website I hadn't heard of before. Check out Overheard in the Office. This is a definite time-waster.


And, no, I haven't left yet. I leave tomorrow.

When should a comment be a post?

Recently I posted about how I was changing my self-imposed writing requirement from 10 minutes a day to 10 minutes a week. Corey left some thoughtful comments, and I've been mulling them over the past few days. I replied today, but replied as a comment. The reply was long enough that maybe it should have been a post. It definitely made my 10 minute requirement for today.

On the World Cup front, I had the occasion yesterday to sort-of watch the Saudi Arabia v. Tunisia game and watch the Germany v. Poland game. I think I'm getting more interested in soccer. I just wish I wasn't so fat and out of shape so that I could go try to play it somewhere. But my lack of coordination would probably be the ruin of my soccer dream anyway. I'm working on the fat and out of shape part, but it may be too late for the coordination part. Who knows.

On the posting/writing front: I continue to read good amateur writing on the web, and continue to get inspired to do it myself. Time is still an issue, but I'm slowly modifying my schedule and finding time for writing. And reading. Usually in some peace and quiet.

Posting will be non-existant here next week. I leave Saturday for a mission trip, and won't return until the next weekend. There will be zero computer access. Not that anyone would have even noticed (since I still seem to post sporadically), but I don't want anyone that might read to think I've given up again. I hope to get another post in before I go, but I still have lots to do to get ready to leave, so it may not happen.

FUTBOL! COPA MUNDIAL!

As is obvious to anyone with a radio or television, it's World Cup time. I'm sitting here watching the England vs. Paraguay match on ABC.

A good friend of mine at work is a rabid soccer fan. He's not from the USA originally, so though he's my age, he grew up playing soccer. He even played for a university team in the United States while in college. We've been discussing soccer the last few weeks, mostly because it seems to be almost all he could think about with the World Cup coming up.

One of his main complaints is how soccer isn't very popular here. I tried to explain to him that relative to the rest of the world, soccer is still somewhat new here. Having spent my entire life in the USA, I have a somewhat different perspective.

My hometown was relatively small. We only had 1 jr. high and 1 high school. But we had baseball leagues for all ages (through age 16), football for kids (which continued into a jr. high team and high school team), and basketball starting in 5th grade. But no soccer. The coach at my jr. high tried to introduce it during our p.e. class when I was in 7th grade. It started to catch on. By the time I had moved on to college, leagues for small children were starting.

Fast foward to 2006. We now have a national outdoor soccer league. We have ABC television broadcasting World Cup games live on Saturday morning, when in years past you'd have to turn on Univision or something to see a soccer game. Pubs all over are advertising that they are showing the games, sometimes on rented larger televisions. There is talk everywhere about the World Cup, and how good (or bad) the USA will do.

Why is it that it has taken so long for soccer to start getting popular? I think there are several factors involved:

• 45 minute halfs (halves? naw...) with no commerical breaks. No time to get more beer, or go to the restroom.


• An addiction to scoring. The recent rule changes to hockey show that games that end 1-0 or 2-1 just aren't that interesting. 90 minutes for 1 to 3 goals is more than our collective ADD national personality can stand.


• New rules for a new game that we don't understand. One of the sports networks should start a series explaining soccer to the masses. Something like Soccer for Dummies or something. I mean, if we can do it for Texas Hold'em poker, it seems like we could do it for soccer.

I must admit to having several of those issues myself. Mostly I just don't understand enough about the game to get what is going on. I'm trying to learn during this World Cup. Hey - I even got up early on a Saturday morning to give it a try. Maybe some of it will sink in.

Well, make that 10 minutes a week

At my current pace it seems I need to modify my goals. My goal was 10 minutes a day. I think I'll modify my goal for now to 10 minutes a week and try to exceed that by 200-300%. It takes a while to develop habits, and this one is becoming harder to develop than most.

The most frustrating part is that most afternoons I think of things I'd like to blog about. But I am not going to risk blogging from work. Then after the commute home, etc., either the idea is gone or the desire is gone. The afternoon is definitely my most productive time. I need to figure out a way to harness that. I've tried using the mail-in-a-post thingy in blogger, but can't seem to make it work. Anyone out there have that working and care to advise me? Any advice welcome.

I've also got a couple of ideas on things to write about, but for now I'll keep those to myself. I spent a lot of time finding ideas to steal, so why give them away so soon?

Somewhere I have in me stories to tell. Stories about childhood. Stories about high school. Stories about young adulthood. Compelling stories? Doubtful. But they are the kind of stories I like to read on other blogs, when they're well written. That is the writing I really want to do - at least right now. I just don't want to do it too soon. I don't want to mess it up because I tried too soon. And that, more than anything else, is the biggest stumbling block.

A new month, another try*

Inspired by this post on one of my regular reads, I am making yet another effort to make this writing thing a regular habit.

Just ten minutes a day. How hard could that be? Something that sounds so easy, when I actually start to do it, suddenly seems so difficult. Typically it's because I don't feel like anyone will care to read what I have to say. Even though I enjoy reading the random musings of others, I still think that no one will want to read it.

My entire life I've hated "busy work". You know, back in grade school when you would finish an assignment early, the teacher would give you, say, 10 extra math problems. Not really to learn anything - after all, you completed the assignment. Just to keep you busy while the other students finished. Or on that part time job in high school or college. The day isn't quite over yet, but there isn't time to start anything new. So you do the equivalent to the classic "Dig a hole here. Ok, now fill it in" type of work. Busy work. Yuck.

How does this relate? Well, it seems that if I write this stuff and no one reads it, or really if no one comments since I have no idea who is reading it, then it's just busy work. I don't think that is entirely true. I understand the value of writing every day. Doing anything every day you are bound to get better at it. But at some point someone else has to see/hear/taste/smell it, or you have no way to know how it stands up to other things out there in the world.

I have been fighting the urge to look at the clock as I've been writing this. I looked at the clock when I started, but since I was on a roll and actually writing, I've been trying not to look at the clock. But I just now broke down and peeked. It has been 10 minutes exactly. This wasn't nearly as difficult as it seemed when I started. Maybe June is time for me to give it another try.


*I "borrowed" this title from the blog post linked above - it said best what I was trying to say. I love reading Alwin Hawkins' blog. Well, most of it anyway. The medical/nursing stuff is out of my league typically, but the rest is great. Give it a try.